How Sirius Black Ruined Everything
by RebeccaRoy
Summary: This is basically how Sirius Black managed to get our favorite author upset. Yes boys and girls he did and it explains why so many bad things happened to poor Harry Potter. Just what did Sirius do to get her so upset? Read to find out…
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer:_

_I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, these belong to that wonderful author JK Rowling and the various publishing companies used to publish her works. I do not make money off this,it is for fun!_

_Summary:_

_This is basically how Sirius Black managed to get our favorite author upset. Yes boys and girls he did and it explains why so many bad things happened to poor Harry Potter. Just what did Sirius do to get her so upset? Read to find out… DH spoilers._

Chapter One:

Jo was a very patient woman, she had to be, she was a very good writer and had written several very popular children's books. One did have to have patience to write so many good books as she had. It had come a bit of a shock after the third book on Harry Potter, (the boy who the books she wrote were about), to find the boy was real as was his world. Much of what she had wrote had happened, and much had not. For one Pettigrew had been put in Azkaban, after Harry's third year at school, Harry never was in the Triwizard tournament and Voldemort had been defeated by Harry in his fifth year. Who needed to know that? She had promised seven books and seven it would be. With Sirius Black right along for the ride to the very end, but Sirius Black was about to get her upset and well its not a good idea to get a one a woman upset.

It happened on a cold rainy evening (cliché I know but its not my fault) and Jo was drinking tea enjoying writing the fourth book. She heard a knock at the door and went to answer it, it was late and the only people that knew she was here were her family and the Wizarding world. She saw a cloaked and hooded figure of a man and let him in. The man took off his cloak and hung it up and Jo gasped looking up at him. He was tall, lean and clad in purple high collared robes. His long curly nearly black hair framed a noble face with mischievous gray eyes and a neatly trimmed goatee. He looked similar in fact to the actor that would play him in the movies. Yes this was Sirius Black and Jo was about to find out how much a prankster he really was.

"I am Sirius Black." He said walking around her sacred study poking at things and looking at her computer. "Is that the latest book, I would like to read it!"

"Kindly keep your hands off." Jo said sitting at her computer and turning off the screen.

"Not fair I wish to know what happens to me!" Sirius replied.

"No, you can wait until the book comes out like everyone else." Jo said. "Why are you here?"

"My wife threw me out, said something about not charming the sliver." Sirius replied. "It was an accident but she acts as if I meant it to start singing the American National anthem!"

"So you came to talk to me?" Jo said.

"Yes, you are writing about us you know, well Harry mostly." Sirius said. "What happens to me? I really want know please!"

"Who did you marry?" Jo asked sweetly.

"Rita Skeeter, she is a wonderful woman, kind gentle and she did stand up for Harry."

"You married who?" Jo said almost choking on her tea.

"Rita Skeeter." Sirius said looking at her innocently. "Why what is up?"

"Oh nothing dear, look I have work to do, you should go home to your wife, my deadline is coming up."

That would not be the last time she saw him, no in fact she was finishing up on the fifth book when he came the next time. He had the fourth book in hand and was not looking happy. Oh he better not have come to tell her how to write he would face her wrath. He dropped the book on her desk and sat on said desk by her book. Jo was grateful that her children were not home, how to explain this man here now? No not easy indeed, she could not tell them this world she wrote about was real!

"You know that was my wife you were mean to." Sirius said.

"Its my story and I will write it as I wish!" Jo said.

"Oh great what next kill of Remus?" Sirius said sarcastically.

"You if you do not leave my chocolate alone!" Jo said slapping his hand away from her sweets.

"Fine I can see when I am not wanted." Sirius sulked.

He left and Jo was going to be nice but then she saw a large amount of chocolate missing. She was most unhappy and so she took her revenge out in the fifth book. She knew she was going to get a visit but was not prepared for who came to see her next. She knew him at once when she opened the door and let him in. Tall lean with long black hair hanging around his face like curtains, hooked nose, black eyes, sallow skin, with interesting features, he was not handsome but he was not ugly either. He was clad in black from head to toe, black robes, cloak boots and his robes indeed did billow.

"What can I do for you professor?" She asked.

"Why did you kill off Sirius?" Snape asked her.

"I thought you might like that." Jo replied smirking.

"Hnn, no it was unkind, what did he do to you?" Snape asked.

"Took my chocolate."

"I did not." Came the voice of Sirius (this after a crack to announce he had Apparated into the author's house) "well maybe but Harry is going to suffer now, you cannot make Harry suffer like this the poor boy!"

"Its my books, my way of telling the tale and if you do not leave now I will do more than just kill off Sirius!"

"Can I have more chocolate?" Sirius said.

"No!" Jo said nearly loosing her temper. "Out now!"

"Biscuit?"

"No!"

"Tea?"

"That is it you are going to regret this Mr. Black I promise you this!" Jo snapped.

Hogwarts 2007:

Sirius Black sat in the headmaster's office a comfortable chair feet up on the desk. The last two books had been riveting and great, okay maybe not great but at least Snape had died. After killing the headmaster and going back to Voldemort only he was not with Voldemort. He gave his memories to Harry in the last book and they showed a miserable and bleak life for the poor man. However Sirius knew for a fact Snape had had a good childhood. He was not a battered child or tortured, _oh never mind_, Sirius thought. Sirius still had his personal copy of the last book in hands. Yes he had ticked of Jo and he would have survived, poor Harry. He looked up as Snape came into the office and took a seat cross from Sirius and Dumbledore came in, then McGonagall came in, she did not say anything to Sirius but gave him a look and he jumped out of the chair.

"You read the book?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, poor Harry, its your fault you know." Snape replied.

"Mine how is that?" Sirius asked.

"She warned you and now you are dead, my wife was killed by Voldemort and Harry is a basket case!" Snape snarled. "I bet Albus thought it was amusing!"

"Yes I did find it amusing." Dumbledore said his eyes twinkling.

"You would Albus!" Snape snapped.

"Yes, yes still she did a great job." Dumbledore said. "Oh and Sirius you did not take her sweets again did you?"

"Well she did kill me off." Sirius said sulkily.

"It started with you taking her chocolate." Remus said walking in. "Never tell a writer how to write, and don't take a woman's chocolate."

"Oh yea well it's funny." Sirius said.

"Not when it gets me killed off!" Remus said glaring at him.

Back in her home Jo smiled, oh yes she had had the idea for her novels a long time. But when Sirius Black annoyed her well she had to kill him off. It was great to be a writer she mused, she could not kill him off in real life but in a book? Well she had done what no-one else could ever say they had, she had killed off Sirius Black, even if it was only on paper…


	2. Chapter 2

_I had to go on with this a bit more as well there is more, Sirius Black is in trouble now… Or is he?_

Chapter Two:

Jo sat smiling and reading the paper, she was happy, the last book had done wonderfully and she could not have been more pleased. She heard a crack and knew, _knew_ a wizard had Apparated into her house. She looked up in shock to see Severus Snape standing there looking a bit upset a copy of the last book in his hands. He knew better than to Apparate into a house unless he really was that ticked off. Well too bad, it was her work and she had never known of the magical world until the third book and she was not changing her story no matter what the truth! Well okay she had a bit at the end but then she had that right as it was her work!

"What can I do for you Professor Snape?" She asked.

"Miss Rowling what ever possessed you to put a chapter in this book called 'A Prince's Tale?' I am most displeased." He said silkily his voice soft and low.

"You did not like it?" She asked calmly sipping at her tea.

"No I did not, firstly though I loved Harry's mother I gave my blessing to James when he married Lily, he worshiped her and she him. I respected him for how happy he made her. Second my father though a strict and old fashioned man loved me we were so very close. He only yelled at my mother if she used magic to punish me or tried to teach me the dark arts." Snape replied coldly.

"Its my story and I will tell it as I wish!" She snapped at him. "Really Mister Snape if you think you can come here and intimidate me like your students you are so very wrong!" Jo snapped at him her temper flaring.

"Third you did a poor job of explaining why our favorite greasy git became a death eater." Said Sirius (this after once more he Apparated into the house).

"Oh you again, do tell me." Jo said.

She was as calm as could be on the outside, sitting sipping her tea and looking at the men as if it were perfectly ordinary to have two wizards in her home. Inside she was all but drooling (its okay I would be too) as Sirius Black was so very good looking and Snape, well Severus Snape though not handsome was interesting to look and oh that voice! Jo could tell he was lean but with good muscle structure under his heavy black robes. She could tell he was wearing some sort of aftershave she liked and his hair though oily was clearly well carried for. His teeth were straight and pearly white though still a bit large and his black eyes made her melt.

"My father died of cancer at the beginning of my sixth year." Snape said. "Lily tried to get me to see reason, to not join V-Vo…."

"Voldemort."

"Thank you mutt, yes him. I believed his lies, that he was only trying to save lives not take them, that once he had achieved his goals he would weed out his own ranks of the murderers there. I was a fool."

"Besides you killed him with Nagini, that would not happen when we all know that our dear potions master here had the anti-venom on him." Sirius replied.

"Yes killing me off in the books got many fans upset." Snape said. "Yet at least I did not die by drapery."

"That was not nice!" Sirius said sneaking a piece of chocolate and getting his hand slapped for it.

"You killed off my wife as well." Snape said. "Charity Burbage."

"Look you two over grown egos, these are my books, I wrote them how I felt and if you do not leave my house now I will make sure you die in real life now!" She snapped at them.

"Fine but it was not funny to have me die at the fangs of a snake!" Snape snarled.

"Leave now."

"You are mean!" Sirius whined.

Snape smirked and bowed and used the door. Sirius Black grinned at her, gave out a bark-like laugh and Apparated out. Jo went back to her reading and reached for her chocolate. She let out some very colorful swears as she realized one Sirius Black had gotten revenge, he had stole her chocolate yet again!


	3. Chapter 3

_Lets add Harry and Remus to the mix, stir and serve…_

Chapter Three:

It had been a few weeks now and Jo had not had anyone Apparate into her house. In fact after the last time Severus Snape and Sirius Black had dared Apparate into her house Professor McGonagall had come to visit. Jo liked her, she was formal, nice exactly as she had envisioned the woman. She looked like an old fashioned teacher with her dark hair in a bun, long dark green gown and square glasses with a traveling cloak over all. She had apologized for the bad manners of her colleges and had assured no-one was going to Apparate into or around her house for a mile.

Now weeks later Jo had been out for a walk and saw the largest , most shaggy black dog she had ever seen. He was so huge he was almost as large as a wolf which was big indeed. He had clear gray eyes and whined and whimpered so sweetly and walked up as submissive as a dog could get. She let him follow her home quite forgetting that Sirius Black was an Animagmus and that this is who she was letting into her home. He stayed in dog form and she was none the wiser and so it was that very day as she was taking tea her doorbell rang and she went to answer it.

She saw two men there, the younger of the two had unruly black hair, bright green eyes and she saw a lightning bolt scar on his forehead. The other was shorter with tawny hair with a bit of gray in it, blue eyes one could get lost in, a small mustache with a few scars on his face. Both were clad in muggle attire though she knew they were Wizards. The first one was clearly Harry Potter, but he was not wearing glasses. The second one she knew was Remus Lupin, he just had to be him.

"Hello Mrs. Rowling." Harry said politely. "May we come in?"

"Of course." Jo replied.

"Thank you, and I believe you are owed these." Remus said handing her a large box of Honeydukes chocolate.

"Why thank you Mr. Lupin." She said ushering them into her study.

"I must apologize for Sirius, he can be a bit ill mannered." Remus said.

"Yea he is insane, a great laugh but he should not have stole your chocolate." Harry said.

Both men took a seat and Jo looked them over. Harry looked different without glasses, he still looked like himself but his eyes were so much more intense with out the eyeglasses. He was tall and had filled out and was a strong looking man. Remus was not the weary aged werewolf she had expected. No in fact he looked rested and happy and she wondered about that, had he been cured?

"I am still a werewolf, but I take Wolfsbane every month and an anti-psychotic drug too." Remus replied knowing she would have questions. "It's called Lithium and works very well."

"You know ma'am it was really rather mean to kill off all those people in the books." Harry said. "I know they are your telling of the tale but Sirius by drapery? That was just plain cruel."

"Well he annoyed me." Jo replied.

"I can see, hey what are you doing here?" Remus said to the dog walking into the room.

"He followed me home." Jo said, "isn't he cute?"

"Um that is my godfather." Harry said. "That is Sirius Black, Sirius turn human now."

"Guess that plan is ruined, thanks Harry." Sirius said as he turned human with a small pop.

"You stupid little mutt." Jo said going for a broom. "Now you are dead."

Normally she was a lady but Sirius deserved this. Not for the first time did Harry witness a woman beating the living crud out of his godfather. Sirius howled and whimpered and pleaded as he was hit with the bristles of the broom. Remus laughed and knew Sirius really got what he deserved, he just did not know when to quit.

"So Harry why are you not wearing glasses?" Jo asked after finishing with Sirius and sitting down like nothing had happened.

"Oh I had surgery, magic can fix lots of things but there are medical things that it cannot." Harry said. "Its dead useful for healing bones and speeding up healing of cuts and stuff but things like eyes and organs and stuff its not so good."

"Accept for potions, there are some wicked good potions out there." Remus said.

"Are there ones to help with a man who has been beaten to a pulp with a broom?" Sirius said from the floor.

"Not for you, Severus will not help you." Harry said. "Not after last week."

"Um that was meant for Lucius not Severus, besides his hair was green only for a few hours."

Even Jo had to laugh at that, the snarky potions master with green hair? That was something she thought would be funny to see. Sadly the men did not stay long as Remus and Harry had to drag Sirius off. Remus hit him when he tried to take the chocolate he had left Jo and the men left. Jo started in on the wonderful chocolate and realized it was so much better than many muggle chocolates she got. She now had a new friend by the name of Remus Lupin, too bad he was dead in her books, he was really sweet…


End file.
